While growing up, April Fools' Day was an absolute thrill for those with a good prank in mind. I remember that one year my house was victim to the the classic rubber band on the faucet hose. In this timeless prank; an
unsuspecting, thirsty individual is found holding an empty glass under the faucet. Malheuresement, because of the remaining sleep crusties in their eyes, they always fail to see the elastique band secretly placed to redirect the water. One flick of the wrist to turn on the water spicket and VOILA ; their dry shirt is cruelly transformed into a wet shirt.
Of course this was as far
as pranking went at my house. My parents (unfortunately) disciplined us well. We all knew that there would be no laughing if they found things like uncharming urine puddles caused by saran wrapped toilets. (However, we did all share a hearty laugh when the septic tank backed up and a giant turd punched the shower drain out on Christmas 2006). Usually, the extent of my blagues consisted of me saying a blatant, obvious lie and then shouting, "APRIL FOOLS!"
If only I had had a paint mixer. I would have, without a doubt, tried to pull off this one.
The unfortunate thing about April Fools' is its similarity to trick-or-treating: most people stop participating after high school. On the flip side, I've landed a gig that pays me to play with children. Thanks to this, when my little companion asked me if I had any good pranks up my sleeve I simply flashed a devilish grin. In reality I was hoping that Google would lead me to some fresh material (they don't have a rubberbandable hose connected to their sink).
That night I researched April Fools' Day like a 21st century adult. Ça veut dire, I read a Wikipedia page. It's actually quite interesting! Did you know that in England pranks are played only in the morning. Or that the Scandinavians have faux accident sites with corresponding news articles. Furthermore, the Polish take the day so seriously that important political documents cannot be signed at the risk that they may be considered a joke. Meanwhile, in France the gens are innocently celebreating, "Poissons D'Avril," by sneaking around and trying to stick paper fish to other peoples' backs without them knowing it.
The last, and most important thing that I found that March night was the perfect prank for an Oreo loving 10 year old.
Here's how it works:
1) Pick up a packet of Double Stuff Oreos at your local Carrefour or grocery provider.
2) Open the pack and remove the first one.
3) Split it in half.
4) Scrape out the cream (the use of teeth for this step is highly recommended).
5) Fill in the missing space with tooth paste.
6) Put it back in the package
*Please note, it may be a good practice to eat one or two of the Oreos, otherwise a less gullible victim may question the full yet opened package of Oreos.
My heart was thumping as she skipped towards me. She saw the package in my hand and then her face transformed into a giant gleaming grin as she exclaimed, "Nyum! Oreos." I felt a little nervous that she would notice the toothpaste. Instead she giggled, "Goodie! They're extra juicy today!"
Her joyful eyes were as big as the chocolate cookies as she proceeded to put the entire cookie, toothpaste side up, on her tongue. This was when my nurturing side kicked in. I'm pretty sure that there's a limit to how much toothpaste a 32
kilogram creature is supposed to consume and I certainly didn't want to
be the one to test it. I dramatically screamed, "NO! Don't eat it!"
This commotion caught the attention of her favorite frenemy. When she came running over we explained the whole situation to her in French. She chuckled and then asked if she could see it. To be nice, I offered her a "vrai" Oreo. I'm not sure how she pulled this off but this child managed to mix up the real Oreo and the toothpaste Oreo. As I saw the toothpaste Oreo approaching her mouth I began screaming, "Ne mange pas, NE MANGE PAS!" Yet she still ate the toothpaste Oreo.
And while all of this was going on, there were people walking around with paper fish taped to their backs. Poisson D'Avril!
**Please note that this was not published on April 1 for reassurance that this is a true story.
